


Sphallolalia

by angelinjun



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), NCT (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, M/M, This was written at 3 am, bts and blackpink and nct will show up later, have fun, lol, sorry this is crack, you dont know these people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-07-09 22:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19895182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelinjun/pseuds/angelinjun
Summary: what happens when a crazy, obsessive, and stalker fan meets the manager of the idol of their dreams?





	1. Chapter 1

"Shawtys, showtime in 5. If you don't get your buttholes over here, you're all fired."

Madhavi Vivek was the executive manager of Shawty Entertainment, Korea's hottest K-Idol institution, and her best-selling group, BRT, was late to their first comeback show. She rapped her fist against the makeup room door with a sense of urgency.

"Y/N? What's the hold up?"

Inside the room, Y/N, AKA, you were gazing intensely into the dark brown eyes of Freddie Liu, more commonly known as his stage name Fred. Y/N and Freddie had been pining after one another for about 6 months beforehand, and this was their breaking point. The sexual tension had finally peaked. Freddie's head hit the back of the door, as Y/N reached out to tug his soft, brown hair. 

"God.." Freddie sighed. 

"Um.. we should probably get outta here. Do you hear that?" Y/N giggled. 

"What? I don't hear anything..." Freddie smiled, as he gave her a peck on your cheek. 

Y/N blushed a deep scarlet red, and hopped off Freddie's lap.

In the makeup room across from them, Hannah Koo and Dylan Chu, known by Korea as just Koo and Chu, were staring at each other intently. The fan-favorite couple was adored nationwide, and netizens frequently gossiped about the true nature of their relationship. 

"Hannah, I think it's time to go onstage," Dylan remarked.

The two embraced each other in a hug, before clasping hands and walking out of the dressing room together.

"Don't forget to take your vitamins later," Hannah said.

Dylan laughed. Hannah was like a mom sometimes, always fussing over him. He was not upset by it though; he needed the stability and security that Hannah brought into his life. He could not wait until their relationship could be open to the public.

The next room down, Taylor Wang and Justin Chang were also late to their comeback show. But it was not for the same reasons as Y/N and Freddie.

"Be careful Justin, there's a creeper behind you!"

The two were utilizing the TV and XBOX set in the room to play their favorite pasttime, Minecraft. As childhood friends, Justin and Taylor entered the K-Idol industry together, with hopes of landing a shot at becoming an award-winning group. After BRT debuted their first album, their record topped the charts and their hit single "Croissant" won several awards at the K-award shows. They were surpassed in popularity only by BTS and Blackpink, the members of which had become close friends with BRT's 7 members.

Speaking of which, where was BRT's 7th and last member? To answer your question, Rachel Lin, also known as Qingya, was the only member of BRT who was present to Madhavi's role call for the show.

"Where's everyone else?" Madhavi demanded.

Qingya shrugged.

"Y/N and Fred are most likely making out. Justin and Tay are probably grinding Minecraft. And Koo and Chu? Well, you already know."

Just as she mentioned them, Hannah and Dylan stepped out of their makeup room and into Madhavi's presence. In the following room, Tay and Justin came out, with the sounds of ambient Minecraft music in the background.

"Finally, you're all here," Madhavi sighed, "Will somebody please tell me what is taking Y/N and Fred so long? The clock is ticking and fans are waiting."

In the nick of time, Y/N and Fred popped out of the makeup room, their hair frazzled and their necks covered with hickeys. Madhavi didn't even say anything. She merely sighed and shook her head in despondence. 

"I'll be having a talk with you two later. Actually, all of you. For now, get your butts out there!"


	2. kimchi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happens when a crazy, obsessive, and stalker fan meets the manager of the idol of their dreams?

it was much later after the concert that one of the fans of BRT was found passed out in the front row. the assistant manager, "kimchi" was looking for the mic that justin accidentally threw off the stage during their last song. "sheesh someone needs to teach this kid how to hold a mic..." kimchi sighed, as he picked up the mic that was now broken. 

kimchi crouched down to pick up the mic when he felt a warm hand that suddenly brushed against his own. "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL!!?" kimchi screeched and jumped back to get away from the thing that was causing his mind to go on a endless circuit of what ifs. did someone die during the concert? is there a ghost haunting me? 

he looked down at what appeared to be a girl in black shorts and an adorable polka-dotted crop top. she was fast asleep, as he could see her chest rising and falling. "excuse me?? miss??" his voice was coated with worry and genuine concern for the poor girl who was passed out on the cold, hard floor. 

he took her into his arms, putting his arms underneath the girl's upper back and knees. he heard a soft grunt that escaped her lips and kimchi's breath hitched. luckily, there was a nearby emergency room filled with trained doctors and nurses. he rushed her into the room and lay her onto a white bed by the window. 

a few hours later...

"wha-?" the girl who was now dressed in a white gown, and no longer her black shorts or polka dot shirt, tried to open her eyes, but was blinded by the bright light that filled the room. 

a pair of hands rested upon her shoulders and a deep, honey like voice suddenly filled her ears. 

"WOODZ!?"


	3. manager is stuck in india

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh!

BTR's group manager was stuck in India due to a flood, so the members were back in Korea doing nothing. They were simply sitting down, until Hannah walked in.

"Dylan, I don't think this is going to work."

dylan sat there in disbelief.

"How could you do this to me Hannah?"

Hannah sighed.

"I like....David now."

Suddenly, Justin stood up in disbelief.

"But I...LOVE DAVID."

Justin belted into song.

"This song is about being in love with someone as much as you like chicken."

"I hit u up when u a chic but now u are my chicken..."

"STOP! stop!" all the members screamed together.


	4. hehe

isabella u forgot to log out of ur ao3 on my computer LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo -taylor


	5. oops

am i still logged in LOOOL- isabella  
we are disappointing the fans shooot


	6. update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who has reached this far

hiii sorry if u clicked on this story and really thought it was gonna have bts, blackpink, and nct. we are liars and only wrote the story for our own friend group entertainment. 


End file.
